I don't even know how long it's been exactly since I decided to choose the path to Recovery and leaving the negative thoughts in the past where they belong. It's been a while and even though it has been quite some time I can't say that it's been perfect. I can't say that there aren't struggles and that there aren't nights that I don't think about the past.
There are still times that those negative thoughts creep back into my mind. Maybe they'll always be in the back of my mind, or maybe it just takes more time. I guess thats the thing about Mental Illness... it's always there.
The other night I was looking back at pictures that I had once liked ... and I've already changed so much in the short time since i've chosen to recover. Not only just in the fact that i'm happier, but the fact that i'm healthy. I'm healthier than I have ever been ... not only physically but mentally.
I've realized that progress comes slowly and that it takes time. But I've also realized that gaining weight isn't a bad thing. That eating isn't something that should be earned. I've realized that the number on a scale doesn't define self worth. The number on your jeans doesn't define whether or not you're going to be successful in life.
What defines you is what you do for yourself. What defines you are the things that you're passionate about. What defines you is you. Nobody else can decide what your worth or how well you're going to do in your future endeavours... Nobody can decide where you're going to end up. You control your own destiny.. and it has absolutely nothing to do with your size.
