I just started my next phase with my trainer Anthony (www.mackfitnesssolutions.com) and I couldn't feel better about my workouts and how things are going. I was so skeptical on getting an online trainer on whether or not I would be actually able to follow the workouts and if they would work. But I can honestly say that it's been the best choice that i've made for myself in a long time.
It's almost been three years since I decided to choose my health and decided that I needed help. Throughout the past three years i've still struggled so much to find a balance between my physical and mental health. I've also struggled to find a healthy relationship with food after restricting certain things and keeping track of every little thing from food to the amount of toothpaste i used. I started this year still with the same struggles that i've had for the past three years and managing to fight through them and talk myself out of ending up on a path that would lead me back to where I was.
These past couple of months working with a trainer has not only improved my physical health and strength but helped me build a healthier relationship with food and with myself. Three years ago I could list you 100 things I hated about myself in less than 5 minutes.. now it would probably take me 5 minutes to find one. The things that I spent hours and weeks focusing on that I wanted to change and that I hated about myself have turned into the things that I love the most.
I still have hard days. I still have days where I struggle with it.. and it's always going to be like that. But being able to wake up every morning knowing what i'm going to eat for breakfast , lunch, and dinner and still seeing the results that I want from my workouts and still seeing the changes makes me feel 100 percent better.
There have been so many people that have asked me why I pay for a trainer if i'm qualified on my own and i've been doing it for so long I should be able to do it on my own. Sure i can do it on my own. But not having to think about what i'm going to do that day or what workouts makes things easier. It makes it so that I can focus more on the mental aspect .. and work more on my mental health as well.
It took my 3 years to realize that being healthy isn't just about exercise. It's not just about going to the gym all the time or eating healthy. Because you can do all of those things and still look at yourself in the mirror and hate everything you see. You can do all of those things and still struggle to get through the day without breaking down into tears. (Which yes i've done). Being healthy is being able to do all of those things because you love your body and you love your health.. not because you hate it. I don't do it because I don't think i'm good enough or I don't think I look good. I do it because I love it. I love the way it feels to wake up sore from a workout. I love the way I feel when I leave the gym and I love the way I feel when I get there.
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