Recovery & The Bad Days

When it comes to Recovery there isn't a schedule of how it all plays out. There's no set plan that tells you when you're going to be okay and when you're going to struggle. Everything is on a day to day basis and it can be overwhelming and exhausting.

There are going to be days that you don't want to get out of bed. That you just want to curl up in a ball and just give up because the voice in your head is so overpowering that you can't tune it out anymore.
There are going to be nights that you lay awake and think about everything. You lay there calculating every little thing, until you go insane. There are going to be nights that you can't pick yourself up off the floor because it's all coming back... worse than it was before.
Those days and those nights are going to make you feel like you've failed. That you can't do it.. that recovery isn't for you.

As time goes on, those days are farther apart. Those nights come less often... and on some you're even able to pick yourself back up and shake yourself off to reset. Those days can wear you out and those nights can leave you feeling so helpless and lost. But the thing about those days and nights is that you just need to pick yourself back up and realize that there have been better days. There have been good days.. and there will good days again.

It doesn't matter how far you've come in your recovery, or how long it's been since you've chosen the path of life you can still have bad days. It doesn't make you weak and it doesn't take away from everything that you've accomplished so far. You can be three years into recovery and have a bad night .. or a bad week. It doesn't make you a bad person for struggling. It doesn't make you a failure because you're having a hard time.

There isn't an outline for when you're going to be recovered. There's no set date from when you started to when you're done. It's a personal journey, and whatever feelings you face along the way are vaild. Whatever bad days you encounter and whatever obstacles are placed in your path, you will overcome them all on you own time.

Recovery is not a hit or miss. It's not a pass or fail. There is no right or wrong. It's simply a path that we choose to take in order to better ourselves and find ourselves. Recovery is not living with an eating disorder, it's choosing to live dispite our mental illness. It's choosing to live dispite what the voice in our head tells us.

Part of recovering is embracing the bad days and building on them. Bad days are going to happen, its what you do with them that decides where you go next. Life isn't about what happens to you on a day to day basis. Your life is built around how you've handled every situation and obstacle... Recovery is the same thing. How you deal with your bad days, will determine how good, your good days are.